Hal Mumme recently "resigned" from the University of Kentucky head football coaching position after going 2 and 9 and having his program come under the scrutiny of the school, the SEC, the NCAA, and the FBI. Some of the infractions that were uncovered in the course of investigation...Daily Comix (being based in Kentucky) has all of the latest scoops....

Apparently Mumme was:

• Writing 10,000 dollar money orders to players for "eating their vegetables".



• Trying to recruit at NFL training camps.



• Telling players that, "Winning isn't everything. But if you lose you have to give back the Ford Explorer".



• Sending fifteen recruiting prospects to Hawaii to "sweat out their decision".



• Asking professors to cordially "Look the other way" when players arrived to class in limousines.



• Using money won from betting against the team to purchase kegs and hookers for the players.



• Chalking the field with high-grade Colombian cocaine to encourage the players to "take the other team down".



• Awarding $1,700 to the winning team during practice scrimages.



• Telling the players to focus on the NFL, where they can be crooked in private.



• Allowing players to have "Half-time at the craps table".



• Betting against his team claiming, "I suck".



• Insisting that players refer to him as "Sugar Daddy".



• Building a 1.5 million dollar "football mansion".



• Insisting that the administration grant $7 million for "beer money".



• Taking the whole team to Chuck E. Cheese.