The technology world is abuzz with speculation over what inventor Dean Kamen has come up with that could inspire Steve Jobs to gush, "If enough people see the machine, you won't have to convince them to architect cities around it. It'll just happen." In case you haven't heard, the mysterious invention, which will not hit markets until 2002, is touted to be so revolutionary, that it will, as Steve Kemper says, "sweep over the world and change lives, cities, and ways of thinking." Until then, however, it is being kept under tight wraps and is referred to only by the code name 'Ginger'. We know you depend on DailyComix to provide you with the news you can't get anywhere else, and so we pored over patent applications and previous papers, and we can now tell you that the invention is one of the following...

• A transportation device which uses very complex principles of physics to actually keep itself upright though it rests on only two wheels. It is reported to perhaps have pedals which propel it forward.



• A universal translation device which will make it possible to understand what the hell George W. Bush is talking about.



• A cybernetic pro athlete, which, though it costs over two million dollars a year to manufacture and maintain, is still cheaper than the real thing.



• A reality TV device which allows you to watch your neighbors' marriage fall apart. (To be seen on Fox.)



• Hope for the XFL's second season.



• A new look for the Backstreet Boys.



• A celebrity pairing algorithm, which allows network executives to assemble controversial couples to boost ratings.



• A Clinton Scandal Generator, which will ensure the national media and Congressional Republicans have something to do, even after the ex-president is no longer able to screw things up.



• A Puff Daddy production machine, which will automate the sampling of old hits, with retreaded vocals randomly generated from a catalog of over 200 words.



• A mounted fish which uses cutting edge 'Synchromotion Technology' to sing "Don't Worry, Be Happy".