The heavily publicized March Lion nor'easter has come and gone, and aside from the far north of New England, where snow isn't really a news story as much as a part of life, the storm was a huge disappointment. Schools and businesses were closed, flights in and out of the east were cancelled, and cities went on emergency alert in preparation for what turned out to be just another snowstorm. In a bid to save face, weather forecasters across the eastern seaboard are making safer predictions...

• The high for today will be somewhere between absolute zero and the melting point of steel.



• It is highly likely that there is snow wherever Robert Downey Jr. is.



• If you're going to be outside this weekend, you might want to take an umbrella with you. Or a coat. Or some shorts. You make the call.



• There is a system of high pressure developing among Puff Daddy's lawyers.



• A cold front has moved into New York, somewhere between Bill and Hillary Clinton.



• The jet stream will be moving west to east tomorrow.



• If you will be traveling to the South Pacific next week, you might want to pack a raincoat, as precipitation in the form of a 170-ton Russian Space Station is expected.



• There will be a hot air mass developing inside the Beltway of Washington, D.C.



• J-Lo is a red-hot item right now!



• The Oscars will suck.