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Your Daily Prescription for Laughs...
On Friday, when the Russian space station MIR is set to crash into
the Pacific Ocean between New Zealand and South America in several
multi-ton pieces, it will mark the end of Russian dominance in the
last frontier. Russia, which has had space stations aloft since the
70s, will become a partner in the U.S.-dominated International
Space Station. The experience that the Russian cosmonauts are said
to bring to the station is priceless, and we have uncovered some
of the tips they have given to NASA...
- Make sure at least one person on the station is at least
mildly sober at all times.
- When resupply missions arrive, a funny thing to do is turn out
the lights, coat the station in slime, and hide in the
ductwork to make spooky sounds.
- Make sure you don't go outside to get the morning paper.
- When you jettison debris, remember that a communications
satellite is worth 100 points, a spy satellite is worth 500
points, and Hubble is worth 1000.
- Recycled urine does not taste good.
- If mission control gets on your nerves, you can pick up Cinemax
by sticking a coat hanger into the communications console.
- If it stops working, hit it a couple of times.
- If there is a fire on board, DO NOT try to put it out with your
vodka.
- Tandy is not a good brand of onboard computer.
- When in doubt, use duct tape.
(for information on this website, send email here.)
Today's cartoon was provided by Shannon Burns. Shannon's work has
appeared in the Saturday Evening Post, Highlights for Children,
Medical Economics, and many others. To see more of his cartoons and
illustration, visit his website.
shannonburns.com
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