In a recent article in "Men's Fitness" magazine, Houston and Detroit were named America's two fattest cities, having the highest concentration of obesity. Here are some of the commonly heard rationalizations of city natives:

11. "We run out of bulls sometimes in rodeos and have to use each other."



10. "Detroit is Latin for Donut."



9. "What else is there to do in Texas, if you're not executing someone?"



8. "We might not have a lot of good food in Detroit, but we here believe in overcoming obstacles."



7. "Well, we want to hold firm here in the Motor City as a great producer of big American, gas-guzzling cars to put our fat asses in."



6. "Here in Houston we have the illegal alien problem under control....We eat them."



5. "Well we just want to show everyone that the people in Texas are just as big as the state."



4. "The bigger we are, the more fossil fuels we create when we die. I mean come on, everyone knows oil is big in Texas."



3. "Well, Detroit is pretty dangerous. We need fat to absorb bullets."



2. "We want tourists to be disgusted by more than the filth and lack of culture in Detroit."



1. "One word: Texass"