January 8th was my birthday and my Grandmother was making me dinner. I called and told her I was going to bring a date and she asked me, "What kind of girl is she?" I responded with, "Uh...The normal kind Grandma." When I hung up the phone though, I regretted the missed oppurtunity for an abundance of funny answers. Now, I love my Grandma to death, and I really enjoyed the date all together, but I just have to make a list of possible responses I could have had to this question.

10. "You'll like her, she reminds me of Don Knotts."



9. "She's mature. Around your age."



8. "Well, it all depends on whether or not she's had her medication."



7. "She screams a lot, and not during horror flicks."



6. "Expensive, so have dinner ready, OK Grandma?"



5. "She only has a couple tatoos, and they're in places you'd never see anyway."



4. "Type of girl? Oh...I think it's pronounced...polyurethane."



3. "Normal type. Except for the tail."



2. "She's beautiful Grandma. When she's not gnawing at her thumb and fore-finger."



1. "She's cool. But if you say anything about me, remember, I own my own Health Spa in Southern California and I'm just here to to look at the property rates. Repeat that back to me."