Rides for Disney's new California Adventure Park..

1. The Steve Guttenburg (The ride that makes you wonder how it got there).



2. The "Yes-Man" (I swear this is the biggest thing to hit theme parks in years. Everyone is going to want to ride it. It'll be bigger than the Beast....)



3. The Hollywood (This is the ride everyone wants to go on, but once they do, they hate it.)



4. Oops, My Cigarette (During this ride you see how much of Southern California you can burn down in under two minutes.)



5. "I want my Latte!" (Battle angry Starbucks Protesters in a full-contact Battle-dome style contest.)



6. Cali Orange (This one is the highest ride in the park).



7. The One Hit Wonder (This is where you get to ride once and then leave the park).



8. The Michael Jackson (Only kids 8 and under can "enter").



9. The San Andreas Catastrophe Tide Pool (For the water park).



10. Reginald Denny's Wild Ride!



11. Run For The Border! (You and twelve friends are crammed uncomfortably into the back of a farm truck while you enjoy the sounds of INS officers screaming and shooting at you.)



12. The Club Scene (This ride costs 40 dollars to get on...you wait in line for an hour....and it really does nothing)



13. The Black Out (This ride never runs).



14. The Robert Downey Nose Candy Shuttle.



15. Smog Mountain.