Oddly Enough

  Shannon Burns

  MTNcartoons

  Total eclipsed

  London's Times

• Chin-Chin the panda was on trial for entering a New York City restaurant, eating dinner, pulling out a machine gun, and shooting out the windows and doors. The judge looked at Chin-Chin's lawyer and proclaimed, "Thirty eyewitnesses saw your client pay for dinner, shoot up the place, and leave. Security cameras caught the entire incident on video. I have no choice but to sentence your client ..."

  "Wait a second, your honor," said the lawyer, "My client may be guilty, but there are extenuating circumstances. He couldn't help his behavior that night, and if you look up the word 'panda' in the dictionary, you'll have no choice but to agree."

  The judge was puzzled, but he had his secretary bring his dictionary into court. There, under the letter P, he found; "PANDA: Black and white bear from China that eats shoots and leaves."

   

• A foreman sent out two groups of men to put up telephone poles along a new highway and asked them to report at the end of the day. The crews were gone all day and returned just as the sun was setting. The foreman asked the leader of the first group how many poles they had installed. The reply was eleven.

  The foreman patted the guy on the back and said, "Not bad." Then he went to the leader of the next group and asked him the same question. Two was the reply. "Two! All you installed were two?! The other group installed eleven!" The foreman exclaimed angrily. "Yeah," the leader answered, "But you should have seen how much they left sticking out!"

Text humor borrowed from The Smokers Club Newsletter. If you're a smoker, this site is tobacco heaven.